Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Fantasy: A Night at the Dirty Elf Tavern

On many a night hence, I have return to the Dirty Elf to reveal in the stories of my new friends, the pungent 'eroes Scobar and Mombo. Tonight I was privy to a new form of entertainment that these two dwarf gentiles introduced to me. The game, if such an activity could be called a game, is known to the boys as Mugs. Mugs doesn't it, in my mind at least, have a clear victor, nor are all the participants voluntary. The game progresses like so: First player orders, and chugs a tankard, second player selects a patron at the bar, first player then whips his empty tankard at the head of the patron, then its second players turn to drink and throw. The game proceeds until the players are too drunk to throw, or the patrons are all unconscious, or a fight breaks out. With their dwarven constitution, I don't think Scobar and Mombo even understand the concept of "too drunk". As for the patrons being unconscious, possible I suppose, but I have never seen it happen. Now, as for a fight breaking out, that is pretty much the expected norm I suspect. I think the whole game is pretence for a good honest brawl, and given the crowd at the Dirty Elf, I'm not all together surprised they oblige the dwarf's their game. As I have mentioned, the Dirty Elf is a squalid whole in Waterdeep's Adventure quarter, with the seediest bunch up in comers and the most retched bunch waiting to receive their comeuppance. There isn't a green warrior in the bunch, or at least not by the end of the night. So my readers, that is the game of mugs, and now I must lay myself back down, as I have a terrible bruise on the back of my head, alas me thinks some one mighten have thrown a mug there!

Darthrin Strongbow, sports commentator to the Sword Coast.
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