Thursday, December 06, 2007

Bread Lands Butter Side Up, Physicists Mystified!

As I sit on the train attempting to best Co-optimus Prime's outstanding high score on BrickBreaker for the BlackBerry I am overcome by a strange smell. It is a sweet smell, with acrid notes as well, and it is terribly familiar. Pausing my brick smashing with what would be the first of many disastrous ball losses, I breathed the oder deep into my olfactory thingamajig. I am certain I know not only that smell, but not just its general class, but it specific source.

The smell was from a particularly sweet, and acrid, cup of coffee. A coffee that ruined a particular good streak of coffee from the King Liberty Star Shmucks (Star Bucks that is.). That cup was so vividly remembered to me by the very fact I found too unpalatable to finish (a rare feat considering I first flirted with coffee by heaping an ungodly pile of freeze dried instant swill into a cup of boiled (not boiling water) in the basement of Eden United Church where I volunteered in grade, grade, grade? Grade school. :) )

Okay, so I can smell bad coffee, who cares? Well it is true coffee is a common enough smell, and it is not rare for that smell to cling to garment, especially when spilled in epic proportions. What the fates, or coffee forces, or what not, failed to properly account for was the colour of my shirt.

You see, much like bread physics, their is an esoteric area of study focused on coffee spillage. It is a "Scientific Fact"(tm) that large irregular form coffee spills always occur on white, or slightly off white garments. This "Scientific Fact"(tm) has been 'proved' through repeated experiments, if you don't believe me let me refer you to journal published scientist Erin Westman.

So you see, Coffee Spill implies that I was wearing a white (or off white) shirt (or pant today) and yet contrary to all these "Science Fact"(tm)s I am wearing A Black Shirt! (And jeans!) Logical fallacies aside, I think someone should check the thermostat in hell, and the winged status of pigs, just to be on the safe side, before anything more catastrophic occurs.

Okay, so that was corny, but I haven't had a lot of time to write of late, someone (and you don't know who you are) has a Christmas present coming that is consuming my time. So more writing soon, I just want to get my project wrapped up, before you know... Christmas...

No comments: