Monday, September 18, 2006

Barenaked Ladies are Mp3

Barenaked Ladies are Mp3 http://bnlmusic.com/

Like a caged animal I paced my cube, anxiousness and anxiety rained, anticipation had reached epic proportions, and yet my mailbox remained empty. I awaited a package, a package of two shiny plastic discs, their contents the album Barenaked Ladies are Me. As a 'rational' fan of the band, I have been eagerly awaiting the album since the start of the podcast.

This anticipation escalated with my attendance of the live concert I was lucky enough to attend back in May. That anticipation compounded when I was able to pre-order the album with a copy of the live concert I attended midway through the summer. The anticipation, which had taken on nearly anthropomorphic qualities (I call it Frank*) reached feverish new levels Tuesday, September 12, 2006, the day the album was released.

Now Frank and I didn't see eye to eye on CD release practice, as I understood it, CDs are generally available in store stock rooms the Friday prior to the release, so that stores can ensure they are all labelled and skew numbered before the unwashed masses smash in the door on Tuesday mornings. In the dark corners of the music store industry it is whispered that you can get your hands on those albums in the days between Friday and Tuesday, but it is required that you know the secret handshake. From an online distribution point of view, it is typical that these albums be packed in their shipping packaging, and labelled on Friday, and sometimes are even placed in the mail, so that they may be processed and delivered on or near the Tuesday of release (in some rare cases, where you live beside the post office you may get the album on Monday morning, record labels have accepted this concession in exchange for quelling the rabid fans.) These rare Monday cases not withstanding, one should receive the Album at some point during the week of the release. That is, unless you live in some esoteric local, like Antarctica, Alert, or Milton, Ontario.

Before I explain what that means, let me recount Frank's difference of opinion on the practice of CD releases. First off Frank expects a shipping tracking number from the online store, so he can obsessively press refresh on the tracking website, following the progress of his package as if it were a real time GPS tracking system. Also Frank expects the package on the release date, why does he have this irrational expectation? Simple, if it doesn't show up the same day it is available in stores, then why the heck did he buy it on the internet in the first place? This is of course the catch, Frank used the internet, because he wanted that exclusive pre-order content, curse his fanboi behaviour. Now, anticipation (aka Frank) is much like a werewolf, and failure to meet his expectation is his full moon. With a full moon he grows into an ugly savage beast, a beast that is generally not cordial to communicate, and has a tendency to savage those who cross it. Also, much like the mythical beast, anticipation-lycanthropy is apparently communicable as my poor friend Brad found out. Unlike a werewolf who is governed by the fortuitously short lived full moon, my beast becomes more savage until the anticipated event finally arrives.

So now that you understand the expectations both Frank, and my more rational self, you can see that when I opened the mailbox on Friday, September 15th I was nearly beside myself to find it empty. Hopefully I didn't receive anything important in the mail today as I transformed into my full beast form (I believe those in the know call it the Crinos form) and shredded what mail there was. Now the rest I can mealy imagine occurred, but in this age of docudrama I'm sure people will forgive my creative indulgence.

Meanwhile, at the Barenaked Cave, band members held Werkshop executives at guitar point while Barenaked Percussionist Tyler (Who was the creative inspiration for Fight Club's Tylar Durden,) drummed along with the tension in the air, tension so tangible the anger lines wafting from the band formed sheet music for a dirge so dire that if ever played would make all listeners fall to their knees and lament. Front men Steve and Ed berated the executives in their classic duet harmonies, "What do you mean our die hard fans who pre-ordered can't listen to our new album? These are our grass roots, these are our people!" Swiss Army Knife like musician Kevin Hearn punctuated their anger with vicious blast from his accordion. The simpering executives let out a wail of contrition, "My lords, my lords do not fret, we have a plan." "A Plan?" Steve questioned, "We are intrigued, tell us more?" Ed added. "Yessss, Massstes" and strange looking hunched executive began, his hands and fingers meeting with conniving intent, "Yessss, a plan, your fans, they love the masters, they worship the masters, they will wait for the masters, we shall makes them wait for the mas...." His sputtering was stopped with a choking sound as he collapsed to the ground unable to breath. Jim Creegan stepped from the shadows, and with a voice that is often attributed to Darth Vader, but in fact is Jim's true voice, and has only be licensed to James Earl Jones, and George Lucas, he uttered, "That is unacceptable." With a rasping intake of breath, Jim continued, "No, we shall not make them wait." He continued with at a measured pace, "We shall let them download our songs... Download them from the INTERNET"

Back in the real world, I was calming down from my empty mailbox inspired rage, when I stumbled across an email in my other mailbox. At some point on Friday, so version of the preceding conversation must have occurred, and awaiting me was a friendly apology indicating CD printing/shipping problems, and a link to download my album. Luckily for the band, the album met all my expectations, and that beastly anticipation was satiated with its quality. My actual CD's will show up in the mail eventually, but I've been able to enjoy the actual music (which is really what is important) all weekend. My initial impression is that I think this is their best album since Stunt. There are a lot of great tunes that are more the just a single quirky gag, or something repeated over and over. It also is a great look at the entire bands creative skills, while they are all in accord with what I've come to know as BNL, you really get to hear the individual style of each member featured in at least one song. Including Tyler reading the weather. I've rambled on long enough, so I will leave it with it's a good album, and I recommend people who were fans of their older stuff to give it a try, and a thanks to either the band or the distributor for taking the right steps to make sure those of us who really wanted the album got it, before it came to angry torch bearing mobs in the street.


*While I seemingly extracted this name from the ether it actually came out of this Penny Arcade comic, which I read recently in Epic Legends of the Magic Sword Kings, and linked to from today's news post.

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